Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Sea Monkeys gave me trust issues. Vancouver to Anapa Russia


    I think my trust issues came from Sea Monkey advertising. We all remember the ads in the back of comic books, fun little creatures playing instruments and wearing cool hats. How was this in anyway “truth in advertising”? Targeting the most vulnerable in western society for their hard earned little cash. I remember sending away for them as a kid and getting a yeast-like package. I poured this into a fantastic sea monkey playground and got a few live brine shrimp in a week. I was disappointed. But I learned a lesson far more valuable than the money I spent. I learned that all that is advertised does not show up as advertised! Big corporations could not be trusted to have my best interests at heart and would steal from me if I were stupid enough to believe them. They didn’t take my money they stole the time it took me to earn that money. Back then, a buck to mow the lawn was good money, and it took an hour. Later in life I wouldn’t chase a dollar coin into the gutter, but then…It was perhaps money well invested. I learned the dream of exotic pets cascading in crazy shenanigans was false. I extrapolated that and looked at the Western dream of a white picket fence home.

    You learn to see the fallacy in ads in life and use them to warn you. We have all heard; “If it is too good to be true it probably isn’t”. Could this be the case for the Western Dream? Well, What exactly is two point five kids? Is this one of those warning signs? Is this dream an unattainable reality? It is for many, and I believe many more to come. Does this condemn us to an unhappy life staring at the bowl of bouncing brine shrimp? It doesn’t have to.
 I have a choice to spend my time slaving to pay for that seven hundred thousand dollar mortgage or spend time experiencing life with friends and family. It took me a while to decide to get off the Carousel of stupid and risk everything to live my life and my dream. It took me several tries to find someone bold enough to follow me as well. People advertise what they think you want to have so the created dual delusional non-truth reality is an easy trap to fall into. How many couples divorce after the 2.5 kids have grown up and left? The breakfast table truth that they have spent their time and lives acquiring and paying for a dream designed by the ruling class elite and not one of their own. The new apparent reality as disappointing as dipping a Chocolate Chip cookie into your coffee and realizing it is a Raisin cookie.

Some people like Raisin cookies. I know I love them. My Mom made equally excellent Raisin and Chocolate Chip cookies. She made Raisin more often because they were healthier. So before I took the risk of getting hit with the wooden spoon for stealing one, I always checked. Chocolate Chip was worth getting caught and punished for while Raisin was not. Nothing was more disappointing than getting caught with a mouthful of Raisin cookie when you expected Chocolate and getting a spoon spanking for it!

    Thomas Wolfe said; “You can never go home again.” I loved that book as a teen but until this year never really understood the meaning. I thought I did, like so many other things I thought I knew in my teens. But that topic is a far too long of topic for a blog. I went home, to do one of the two absolutes in life. I am writing this so it wasn’t to die. I needed to do my taxes and like each year I’d left it to the last minute to organize all my receipts. We flew direct from Hong Kong to Vancouver and breaching the gray clouds of the most beautiful city on the coast did not bring the feeling I thought it would.

    Familiarity is a comfortable couch but as in relationships ruined by life and with love lost Vancouver failed to stir my emotions. I landed with relief, both of a long flight home completed, and the city I have known my whole life. I was looking forward to seeing friends, family, and reconnecting with many.  This goal was not adequately achieved, and not for lack of trying on both parts.

Western life is so focused on attaining the Sea Monkey Dream that I found it near impossible to meet everyone that had expressed desire on Facebook to do so. I am not putting anyone at fault for this, rather I am raising it as a check and balance. Is this reality really your Chocolate Chip Cookie? If it is then great, live the dream. If it is not, then change it before that Monday morning breakfast realization!

    We did see and stay with many friends and family and had an incredible time sharing stories, Vodka, food, and emotional connection time that is sadly missing in this digital age. Skype is great, but it is a pale replacement for that beautiful lull in every communication between friends. You know the one the comfortable quiet that occurs when two people, comfortable with each other can just be. Without words or physical contact and feel fine with that moment. I had many of those experiences and feel very blessed to have had so.

    A very rainy two am had us heading back to the airport in Vancouver. We had a six o’clock flight and had to drop off the truck before the airport. Hugs exchanged between friends we were once again traveling, this time to LA and then a few hours later to Russia, and home to Anapa.

We met my nephew Mike in LA and went for an excellent lunch down in Venice Beach. It was the first time he had met Inga and both enjoyed the experience. The long, nearly 13 hour, flight was looming ahead yet I forced myself to relax and be in the moment rather than stress about the flight. I learned this skill in Thailand and was glad for the knowledge. The boarding process was smooth except the US requirement to check boarding passes every thirty-five feet. I am not exaggerating in the least. I think my boarding card was looked at a dozen times and three times in the line to go through security! I could see the confusion on the faces of the Russian travelers around me.

Landing in the afternoon in Moscow was a treat as I usually come in after the sun has vanished for the day. It really is an incredible city and while now familiar didn’t have the comfy couch feel. We made our way to a nearby airport hotel I usually stay at and relaxed and showered. Morning again started early and had us out of bed before sunrise. The process home only a short hop away, and with it the promised Anapa sun.


  1. Great blog as always. I just got back from getting my "I'm a Loser Letter" from the Doc for work. Bet you miss those, haha. Good description of your MOm. Yes, I envision her with the spoon...Scottie---snap!!!

  2. LOL! Yes Mom was a gunslinger with that spoon. Thanks for the Idea! It turned out pretty good I think. Getting a little quicker writing this type of thing. Might come in handy if I am asked to write for a company in St. Petersburg. Will trade work visa and easy stay for!